Every day it’s taking me much longer

Though the urge if anything gets stronger

I can’t do it more than once a day

Every day it’s a little weaker

I feel like a toy that’s lost it’s squeaker

I can’t do it more than once a day

Every day I get more unstable

Come what may if I were only able

To perform twice nightly, with a matinee

Come Monday, I’m having an injection

Ennis says it guarantees erection

Then I’ll have it all day every day

If I can’t get it free, I’m quite prepared to pay

If I can’t get a woman, I’ll just have to turn gay